I’m Neurodivergent (ADHD, Autism, AUDHD) and Just Got Written Up at Work. What Do I Do Now?

Getting written up at work can feel huge, especially if you have ADHD, autism, anxiety, depression, or some combination of them.

Before assuming you’re getting fired or deciding you’re bad at your job, focus on what actually happened.

A write-up is important, but it’s also information. Something isn’t working. The goal is to figure out what happened, what’s contributing to it, and what needs to change.

Cliff Notes: If you don’t have the attention or energy to read the whole article right now:

1. Get a copy of the write-up.

2. Identify exactly what you’re being asked to change.

3. Separate what actually happened from what you’re afraid will happen.

4. Ask your supervisor for specific and measurable expectations.

5. Look at whether ADHD, autism, anxiety, or depression is contributing.

6. Don’t just promise to “try harder.” Identify what would actually help.

7. Put important conversations and expectations in writing.

8. Consider accommodations if your disability is affecting your ability to do your job.

9. Address your mental health at the same time.

10. Get additional professional advice if you’re concerned about discrimination or termination

    
    

    

    
    

First: What Actually Happened?

Negative feedback can quickly become much bigger than the feedback itself.

Fact: “I was written up for missing three deadlines.”

Fear: “Everyone thinks I’m incompetent and I’m going to get fired.”

Those aren’t the same thing.

Read the write-up again when you’re calmer and ask:

What specifically am I being asked to change?

Then ask:

Why am I struggling with this?

The answer may be different depending on what you’re dealing with.

ADHD: Look at Executive Functioning

ADHD workplace difficulties may include:

• Missing deadlines

• Losing track of tasks

• Underestimating time

• Difficulty starting boring or overwhelming work

• Trouble prioritizing

• Forgetting verbal instructions

• Getting distracted

• Interrupting or responding impulsively

• Inconsistent productivity

Instead of asking:

“Why can’t I just get it together?”

ask:

“Where is my executive functioning breaking down?”

Missing a deadline because you forgot it is different from remembering the deadline but being unable to start the task.

Possible supports might include written instructions, clearer priorities, smaller deadlines, reminders, regular check-ins, and fewer interruptions.

Autism: Look at Communication and Environment

Autistic employees may experience a different set of workplace barriers:

• Vague instructions

• Unwritten workplace expectations

• Unexpected changes

• Difficulty interpreting indirect communication

• Being misunderstood as rude, disengaged, or argumentative

• Needing additional processing time

• Difficulty switching tasks

• Sensory overload

• Social exhaustion

• Masking

  
  

Imagine two employees miss the same deadline.

The employee with ADHD understood the assignment but lost track of the steps.

The autistic employee remembered the conversation but didn’t realize that “sometime next week” actually meant Wednesday.

Same outcome. Different problem. Different solution.

Helpful supports might include direct communication, written expectations, specific deadlines, meeting agendas, advance notice of changes when possible, predictable routines, additional processing time, and sensory modifications.

Anxiety: Look at Fear and Avoidance

Anxiety at work doesn’t always look like anxiety.

Sometimes it looks like:

• Avoiding difficult emails or conversations

• Overthinking

• Perfectionism

• Repeatedly checking your work

• Fear of asking questions

• Indecision

• Freezing when receiving criticism

• Saying yes to too much

After a write-up, anxiety can make every interaction feel threatening.

Your supervisor writes:

“Can we talk tomorrow?”

Your anxiety hears:

“I’m getting fired.”

Try to separate what you know from what you’re predicting.

Anxiety can also make the original problem worse. You may avoid your supervisor because you’re afraid of criticism, and your supervisor experiences that as poor communication.

Depression: Look at Changes in Capacity

Depression can make you feel like you’ve suddenly become bad at things you used to manage.

You may experience:

• Low energy

• Difficulty starting tasks

• Poor concentration

• Increased lateness or absences

• Slower work

• More mistakes

• Withdrawal

• Lower motivation

• Feeling overwhelmed by previously manageable tasks

One useful question is:

“Have I always struggled with this, or has something changed?”

If organization and deadlines have been difficult your entire life, ADHD may be contributing.

If you normally manage those things fairly well but suddenly can’t, worsening depression may be affecting your capacity.

Sometimes it’s both.

When They Start Feeding Each Other

These conditions rarely stay neatly separated.

ADHD causes you to miss a deadline.

Anxiety makes you afraid to tell your supervisor.

You avoid the conversation.

Your supervisor becomes frustrated because you didn’t communicate.

You get written up.

Now depression and shame show up.

Your motivation and concentration drop, and you fall even further behind.

Or you may be autistic and spending most of your workday masking, managing sensory overload, and trying to interpret unclear expectations. Eventually you’re exhausted, anxiety increases, and depression follows.

Your employer may simply see:

“Performance has declined.”

Understanding what’s underneath the decline helps you figure out what to do about it.

3 Steps to Address the Problem With Your Supervisor

Once you understand the problem a little better, talk with your supervisor.

1. Clarify What Needs to Change

Ask for specific expectations.

You might say:

“I want to make sure I understand the concern. What specifically needs to improve, and how will we know I’m meeting expectations?”

Try to leave knowing exactly what needs to happen, by when, and how improvement will be measured.

“Communicate better” is vague.

“Respond to client emails within one business day” is measurable.

2. Explain What’s Getting in the Way

You don’t need to defend everything that happened or give your supervisor your entire mental health history.

Focus on the problem.

For ADHD:

“I’ve noticed I’m having difficulty keeping track of competing priorities and verbal instructions. I want to put more structure around that.”

For autism:

“I do better with direct expectations and specific deadlines. I sometimes miss implied expectations even when I understand the work itself.”

The goal is to explain enough to help identify a solution.

3. Make a Plan and Put It in Writing

Agree on what happens next.

That might include:

• Written priorities

• Specific deadlines

• Brief weekly check-ins

• Written follow-up after meetings

• Clearer instructions

• Fewer unnecessary interruptions

• A formal accommodation request, if appropriate

Then send a short follow-up email:

“Thanks for meeting with me. My understanding is that X and Y are the priorities, X is due Friday, and we’ll check in Tuesday to review progress.”

Now both of you know what was agreed to.

Don’t Just Mask Harder

After getting negative feedback, many neurodivergent people respond by working later, skipping breaks, triple-checking everything, forcing themselves through sensory overload, or trying harder to hide that they’re struggling.

That may work temporarily.

Instead ask:

“What would help me do this job consistently?”

You’re looking for something sustainable, not something you can force yourself to maintain for two weeks because you’re scared.

Should I Ask for Accommodations?

Possibly. A useful accommodation connects a specific difficulty with a specific support.

Instead of:

“I have ADHD and need accommodations.”

You might say:

“ADHD affects my working memory and ability to prioritize competing tasks. Written priorities and a brief weekly check-in would help me consistently meet deadlines.”

For autism:

“I have difficulty interpreting implied expectations. Direct communication and specific written deadlines would help me consistently understand expectations.”

Depending on the person and the job, accommodations for anxiety or depression might involve scheduling, communication, concentration, breaks, leave, or other changes related to the person's specific functional limitations.

The point isn’t simply having a diagnosis.

It’s identifying what you’re having difficulty doing and what reasonable change might help you do it.

A Diagnosis Doesn’t Automatically Make the Write-Up Go Away

Having ADHD, autism, anxiety, or depression doesn’t automatically mean your employer cannot address performance problems.

Think about accommodations as:

“What can help me meet expectations going forward?”

rather than:

“I have a diagnosis, so this performance problem doesn’t count.”

You can take responsibility for what happened and recognize that you may need support.

Both can be true.

If you’re concerned about discrimination, retaliation, termination, or whether your employer is appropriately handling an accommodation request, consider talking with an employment attorney or another qualified professional.

What Do I Do Now?

Start with the actual problem and look underneath it:

ADHD: Look at executive functioning, attention, time, organization, impulsivity, prioritization, and follow-through.

Autism: Look at communication, ambiguity, sensory demands, transitions, processing time, social expectations, and masking.

Anxiety: Look at fear, avoidance, perfectionism, overthinking, freezing, and fear of making mistakes.

Depression: Look at changes in energy, motivation, concentration, attendance, withdrawal, and overall capacity.

Then ask:

What actually needs to change?

Maybe you need a better system.

Maybe you need clearer expectations.

Maybe you need treatment.

Maybe you need accommodations.

Maybe you need to have a more direct conversation with your supervisor.

Maybe you need to take responsibility for something you’ve been avoiding.

And sometimes you may realize that the workplace itself isn’t a sustainable fit.

Getting written up doesn’t define you, but it is worth paying attention to.

Instead of getting stuck in “What’s wrong with me?”, try asking:

“What isn’t working, why isn’t it working, and what can I change?”

That usually gives us something much more useful to work with.

References

Chan, E. S. M., & Langberg, J. M. (2026). Predicting occupational outcomes for individuals with ADHD: The role of hyperactivity/impulsivity and executive functioning. Journal of Occupational Rehabilitation, 36, 223–233. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10926-024-10259-y

Heinze, C. (2025). Workplace accommodations and employment outcomes among employees with autism: A systematic review. Cureus, 17(12), e99353. https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.99353

Lauder, K., McDowall, A., & Tenenbaum, H. R. (2022). A systematic review of interventions to support adults with ADHD at work—Implications from the paucity of context-specific research for theory and practice. Frontiers in Psychology, 13, 893469. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.893469

Pryke-Hobbes, A., Davies, J., Heasman, B., Livesey, A., Walker, A., Pellicano, E., & Remington, A. (2023). The workplace masking experiences of autistic, non-autistic neurodivergent and neurotypical adults in the UK. PLOS ONE, 18(9), e0290001. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0290001

Weber, C. (2024). Physical workplace adjustments to support neurodivergent workers: A systematic review. Applied Psychology, 73, 917–945. https://doi.org/10.1111/apps.12431